Mood:  lyrical

(C)2009jtmcpub

"Scammed Again?(How Not To Be)"

    Well,this may definitely keep me from being President,though I'm older than these last 3!

      What can I say? This method works,though once the word gets out I may discover a whole lot less email coming from those who now darken my inbox with their FREE offers!Certain that they know just what will get me to loosen my purse-strings! But don't think it does not leave me with a few more magic smoky mirrors I conceal at the Vernet of my finger tips.and up the sleeves of my topit!

 I even have a Country kinda named for me,Jim Bell(Belgium),at least that's my name:Bell,Jim.

Well,Actually, "I'm not French,I'm Norman"as Tony Perkins said to Janet Lee. Sorry,"HARVEY"made me use that one! 

Ok,ok.I told you I was a clown!

Now, enough of this foolishness! Let's begin:

      1st-There IS  such a thing as a FREE LUNCH! None of you would be alive,if somebody hadn't fed you, when all you could do was yowl and fill your diapers with the remnants of that meal!

 2nd-If it sounds too good to be true,may be HE just might be TRUE!

And, then after somebody steals Diogenes' lantern,someone else will give him a flashlight! There IS a Santa Claus!

When you discover that you get more out of giving presents,than getting them,look in the mirror,  "Hi Santa!"

"The spirits have done it all in one night!" "It was the BEST of times!"

O.K. Money back guarantees? I know a guy who was told by another guy, "If you aren't satisfied, for any reason,I'll GIVE you your money back!" So the dude  thought, "Yeah, sure I wasn't born yesterday!"

"What happened next,Daddy?" Well,he decided to prove the guy was full of(remember what was in the diaper?),so he goes to the guy, "Hey this stuff you sold me,was no good!"

So, the guy gave him his money back and apologized. ghoti 

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Mood:  silly

       (c)2009jtmcpub.

                             1 of 3

                So I get a hundred,as a clown,but you only get $10

Quelle ripoff! But, it took me many,many years to make a hundred bucks!

Actually,my last paid show, was $130 for an hour!But,I started out making

pocket change,sometimes just a drink,a smoke,a floor to sleep on.Working

the streets,finding grass to mow,walks to shovel,dishes to wash,leaves to

rake... Oh, sorry! I was  landscaping,Chief cook and bottle washer,except I

still can't cook!After Rotengen,who

created the X-ray that saved me from dying as a baby from an enlarged

Thymus Gland,I really love the inventor of the Microwave!

          Let's talk about inflation. In 1963 I made a buck an hour,plus

food,washing dishes and moping floors.But,i could go to "Woodys" buy

a candy bar for a nickle,a comicbook for a dime,and an icecream cone for

another dime,that's a quarter,and still have 75 cents left! 3 items for only

a  quarter of an hour's work.

         O.k.,so now min wage is about 6 bucks,and the price of those 3

items is PLUS TAX,a whole lot more than 15 min of work!Now,why don't all

you young,non Vets,under 60,go ask those people who want taxpayers to

pay for these atrocious stimulis packages why these Harvard Grads have

flunked math and can't even balance a budget? Trillons of dollars they

say,OK!Why don't you count to a trillion before you spend it! Maybe then

the rest of us could have,say,a chance to boil some water for a teaparty? 

And that's what real math is actually like! In case  you are confused.

2+2=4,not 5! Big brOther is ungood! Time for Recess!  ghoti

madjimp@gmail.com 

Mood:  mischievious

   ONCE THERE WAS A VERY

SILLY,SILLY,SILLY MAN

BUT HE WAS VERY,VERY SAD

WHY WAS HE SO SAD?BECAUSE 

everytime that he tried to get rich, something silly would happen. and he would lose his shirt. Poor silly man

Then a friend said,"There's going to be a huge fair,everybody in the world will be going there.You should go,too."

So the silly man went.At the fair,there was one man.He told everyone, "Come see what I've invented, it will change the world!"

So he showed his invention to the silly man.The silly man said:"This is

a wonderful toy,but I doubt that it has any real purpose." The silly man made fun of it,and he laughed and laughed.

But,guess what? 

The silly man was Mark Twain,poor

silly,silly man. And the inventor of the thing he called an impractical toy?

 Dr.Alexander Graham Bell  

 How do you do, I'm madjimp!

A lot of people laughed at me,too!

I could always make them laugh!

They called me a clown,but I made them  laugh! I made $100 per hr. As Jimbo,The Magical Clown.

Think of all the clowns that you know,who do NOT make a hundred dollars an hour!

East is East, and West is West

And never Mark Twain to meet!

Now, there's J.T.M.C.Pub.

Want to start at $10 per hr.? 

   (C)2009 by jtmcpub

madjimp@gmail.com